RELIABLE facts from Your Shout and a bloke I met in a pub.
What an educational week it has been. I was once told you should try and learn something new every day. Well, last weekend I lost count!
First, a normally reliable friend informed me that no one has ever landed on the moon, it was all filmed by Stanley Kubrick in a warehouse just outside Gerrards Cross.
Which explains why Mr Kubrick was given so much money by the CIA to film Tom Cruise in his vest and pants for Eyes Wide Shut.
Second, I found out that being the best team in London has nothing to do with winning more matches or points in the Premiership. It’s actually all about how pretty the team’s passing is.
Third, I learnt that the alarming rustling in the bushes around the men’s pond in Hampstead Heath is not a giant rat, as I had feared, but one of Arsene Wenger’s voyeuristic followers trying to catch a glimpse of me in my Speedos.
Fourth, a football team’s “transitional period” can last half a decade.
Three of these facts came from last week’s Your Shout column so they must be true. And one came from a bloke I met in the pub - yet, strangely, seems more plausible.
Having to yawn through another tedious display by Chelsea, including a brace from Nicolas Anelka and a Bergkampesque goal from Ashley Cole, left me wondering who could question Wenger’s brilliance at keeping his best players in Holloway?
My brain is full up with all this new knowledge, but here’s one final fact from my weekend. Someone pointed out that when seeding teams, it is unheard of to go back more than five years. Now, where would that leave us in the best team in London debate, I wonder.
SO, Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan has discovered the magic formula for turning his club into one of the best teams in the world.
All he has to do is simply scoop up as many players as possible with an Arsenal connection.
They already have Patrick Vieira, Kolo Toure, Emmanuel Adebayor and Silvinho.
And now they are reportedly chasing former Gunners midfielder, Mathieu Flamini.
No doubt the gossip columns will soon link Arsene Wenger and Cesc Fabregas with a move to Middle Eastlands.
I half expect to pick up the paper to find that Sheikh Mansour has invested some of his billions in changing City’s team colours to red and white.
As Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez might say – it is a fact that Arsenal haven’t won any trophies recently, but the club’s fantastic footballing foundation still makes them the team to beat.
And, it would seem, to emulate.